HoloNet News
Issue 1 PDF Print E-mail
HoloNet News
Sunday, 16 August 2009 17:46

Holonet Galactic News HGN

(Between Episodes II and III)


Conflict over Amendments to Military Creation Act

Sate Pestage, acting Chancellor of the Imperial Senate seeks Senate approval for an increase in funding for the Imperial military. Citing recent acts of terrorism and the growing strength of secessionist movements throughout the Empire, the Chancellor stated that the current size of the military is insufficient to secure peace: "Though the Separatists have been defeated, the galaxy is still in a state of flux. Surviving elements of the Separatist cause continue to plague the galaxy and the chaos of war has spawned an array of threats. Piracy is on the increase and is taxing our fleet resources and civil disorder in the occupied zones is straining the ability of the Imperial Army to maintain order. We also must deal with the problem of the missing Jedi. We can assume that they will not stop their attempts to murder our beloved Emperor and seize control of the lawfully constituted government. The Admiralty and our Generals have asked for increased funding and more recruits to maintain economic and political stability."

It is suspected these amendments will pass with a healthy majority although there is an organized opposition party. One of the most outspoken is Senator Mon Mothma of Chandrila who stated: "The Imperial military is already 50% larger than it was at the height of the Clone War. I ask you gentlebeings to consider that the money being put into the military build-up would better serve the citizens of the galaxy if put into repairing the damage to our worlds from the recent war." Mon Mothma has also enraged many Senators by calling for the repeal of the punitive measures the Emperor imposed on Separatist planets and urging the Senate to meet with representatives of dissenting worlds to answer their grievances.

New Government installed on Doron

Following the occupation by Imperial troops last week, the Emperor issued an executive order suspending due process for all military and government officials involved in the insurrection. Local elections have also been suspended. The Emperor has installed Welt Regan, one of his aides, as planetary governor. Regan has stated, "The majority of the citizens of Doron are loyal to the Emperor and to the Empire. They were subject to a corrupt government with lingering Separatist tendencies. Due to the disbanding of the survivors of the Doronian planetary defense force I have requested and received permission to keep the brave soldiers who made this victory possible on station to restore order. Our forces are searching the planet for additional insurrectionists. Several traitors from the Doronian cabinet are still at large through we anticipate their capture within the month."

Most of the captives taken so far are on penal ships transferring them to Kessel and Sevarcos. Three Imperial Navy Warships and 3 Corps of troops are on station on the planet and are expected to remain for at least six months. The blockade will be lifted in six days and normal space traffic is expected to resume then.


The battle at Doron saw the debut of new military weapons by the Imperial Fleet. Our reporter Jaina Towani was granted an interview with Admiral Motti and General Tagge to discuss these new developments and the recent military action:

Jaina: Thank you for agreeing to this interview gentlemen. May we begin by summarizing what the situation was like on Doron?

Motti: Insurrectionist elements within the Doronian government issued an open challenge to the Emperor demanding certain concessions with the threat that if the demands were not met Doron would withdraw from the Empire in direct violation of Imperial Edict 42. The Emperor learned from the Separatists that dealing with terrorists is futile. I was ordered to deal with the situation. My fleet consisted of the first of our new Imperial Star Destroyers, a Dreadnaught, and a Carrack, all outfitted with TIE craft. The Renegade Doronians had an Acclimator, a Bulk Cruiser rebuilt as a fighter carrier, their orbital platform, and a few squadrons of fighters, mostly Cloakshapes though they had a few of those new Y-Wings Koensayr just released.

Jaina: While you're on that topic, can you explain the Navy's reasoning behind deploying the TIE fighter in preference more heavily shielded and armed fighters like the Y-Wing.

Motti: When you're building a small planetary defense force, a corporate security fleet, or even a pirate gang the primary considerations are cost and effectiveness and the roles the vehicle can be used in. For example if you're part of a defense force charged with defending a space installation a Y-Wing might seem to be ideal as it can fight fighters and also attack larger ships. In the Navy we will almost always have the advantage in numbers and thus specialize. We built the TIE to be a superb dogfighting craft for anti-fighter work while the bomber can excel in it's anti-ship and ground support roles. Also, it is a truism that the bigger and more ungainly the craft the easier it is to put any idiot in the craft and have them perform with minimum competence. The Imperial Navy has the best pilot training program in the galaxy and the TIE fighter is built to use that skill to it's fullest.

Jaina: I think our audience is interested in the new Imperial Star Destroyer. What can you tell us about it?

Motti: While some of it's specs are still classified I can tell you that it is a massive craft, dwarfing the Victory-Class that flagged our fleets in the Clone Wars. It has three times the fighter complement and has been specifically built with TIEs in mind. It has more firepower than any ship in active service and an impressive array of defensive weapons and shielding to protect it's crew. The ship is built with Command and Control computers enabling it to command space and ground battles with equal efficiency. We anticipate having about a dozen in service by the end of the year with more to follow.

Jaina: There is a rumor that the ship lacks the ability to enter the upper atmosphere of a planet and this has been criticized as a weakness compared to the older Victory Destroyers.

Tagge: The Victory Class will continue in this role but the enemies of the Empire should not see this as weakness in the Imperial Army. The ship has a vast complement of ground support vehicles and troops and enough dropships to deploy them quickly. The ship is also capable of deploying prefabricated garrisons onto a planet's surface, enabling the army to quickly establish a planetside base of operations.

Jaina: What of the rumors of new ground craft?

Tagge: The Empire has made the decision to retire the AT-PT and create a larger counterpart to the AT-ST. It's called the AT-AT, the All-Terrain Armored Transport. It served in the Doron landing superbly. It has enough firepower to take out the largest enemy vehicles and can quickly disable defenses and provide heavy armor support to our forces. It is also capable of carrying smaller ground vehicles and troops into battle.

Jaina: So what happened at Doron?

Motti: Upon arrival we deployed our starfighters and attacked. Our fighters overpowered theirs with minimal losses. Our capital ships with bomber support destroyed their fleet within 20 minutes of arrival. Using ion cannons we disabled their orbital station and assault shuttles filled with crack Navy troops had control of the station within 7 minutes of landing.

Tagge: The Army landed 3 corps of troops to fight an estimated one corp they had on the ground, divided among three military bases. Though they were entrenched with heavy artillery the AT-AT performed beyond specifications in resisting artillery fire and the battle lasted only 12 hours before they surrendered. Clean-up operations were complete within the next day.

Jaina: With the recent controversy in the Senate how do you feel about the continued build up in the Military?

Motti: When the Separatists defected we were caught off guard. We won that war only through skill and a fair bit of luck. When the Jedi turned on us, it almost cost us the war. We need to be prepared before the next threat arises, whether from within or without. I for one do not want to trust to luck again. Returning to pre-war Navy levels would cripple our ability to do our job and is asking for a repeat of past difficulties.

Tagge: The Army didn't exist and I think the Clone War proves to us how dangerous it can be to be undefended. I would question the loyalty of anyone who insists that a strong military is dangerous. Those who fear the hand of justice generally do not live by the code of justice.

Jaina: Thank you for your time gentlemen.

Terrorist Attack on Felucia

According to Imperial sources, a group of terrorists destroyed a medical station on the planet of Felucia. The research facility was dedicated to the study of Vaalan's Disease, a childhood illness with a 50% fatality rate. Military sources report that the facility was also a vital element in Felucia's communications network and it is suspected that the terrorists were using the disruption in the communications network to smuggle narcotics off the planet. One source spoke on condition of anonymity: "What we know suggests that there were at least 30 terrorists armed with military grade weaponry and artillery supported by an overgunned corvette or frigate. They destroyed the security contingent and the researchers and planted explosives to destroy the whole structure. Years of research has been lost. What baffles us is the cruelty of the attack. Autopsies indicate the attackers needlessly murdered young patients and unarmed researchers. They could have disrupted communications without destroying the installation as well. We are dealing with unbalanced individuals here. If any citizen has any knowledge regarding this incident or believe they know who is behind this we ask you to contact us immediately." Authorities have no comment on whether they suspect a further attack.


Max Rebo band announces new singing tour

The Max Rebo band is performing a travelling tour along the Corellian Run. Fans are excited and the Sy Snootles following is reaching a fever-pitch. The recent craze due to her latest song, "Lapti Nek" is still building momentum. Said one Corellian teenager, "She is so beautiful. I could stare at her for hours." The boy is not alone as it is now believed that there are more holograms of Sy Snootles in boy's bedrooms then there are of Twi'lek slave girls. Sy Snootles will also be releasing for the first time her own brand of skin, eye, and lip products to a generation of girls desperate to imitate her and her rise to success.

Sabacc Tournament at Bespin

Cloud City has announced that they will be going ahead with their annual tournament. Details on application and travel arrangements will be coming in our next issue.


Gardulla the Hutt Arrested

With the recent crackdown on illegal slave trading an Imperial force arrived on Tattoine to arrest Gardulla. Her consort Jabba insists that he tried to talk her out of this trade years ago but she insisted on continuing. He denies the rumors that he sold his interests to Gardulla to implicate her and protect himself.

The Tralus Twins Captured

The Tralus Twins were captured on Tralus yesterday. The pair were wanted for charges of murder and slave trading. They are accused of murdering at least thirty citizens and abducting over two hundred. The government finally put a bounty of 8,000 credits on his head. Boba Fett, a bounty hunter of increasing renown is responsible for locating and capturing them. They are expected to be sentenced to life in the spice mines.


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Issue 2 PDF Print E-mail
HoloNet News
Sunday, 16 August 2009 19:36

Holonet Galactic News HGN

(Between Episode III and IV)

 Headline News:

Ancient Self-Sustaining Droid Colony Found

On the planet Taris, an ancient self-sustaining Droid colony was discovered last month. Samples of the colony itself suggest that it dates back to before the Jedi Civil War when the planet-wide city was destroyed by orbital bombardment. It appears that the colony was built by a now-defunct experimental science corporation.

Upon entrance the colony AI welcomed the team with a cheerful feminine voice and offered up the scientific research it had been working on for the last few centuries including what it called a 'neat gun'. It appears the colony was built to house refugees from the ecological nightmare Taris was becoming but it was lost during the Tarisian Civil War.

The discovery took a darker turn when the bodies of humans dating back to the Jedi Civil War were discovered inside the facility. Ancient datapads recovered with the bodies indicate that there was a multi-generational search to find the city by a group of outcasts fleeing the stench and rakghouls of the Undercity to which criminals were consigned. Another datapad kept by a man named Gendar (presumably the leader) reports that a mysterious man with a sword, a military man with two blaster pistols, and a young Twi'lek found the clues to find the City.

The Life Sciences consultant on the expedition insists that the disease and rakghouls themselves are a myth from a more primitive time, "The accounts refer to being bitten and then a period of convulsions lasting no more than a few seconds, followed by a flash of light and then a human is converted immediately into a rakghoul. There is no biological process that can account for such a rapid transformation. The story is a myth, pure and simple."

The bodies of these refugees were believed to have been murdered by traps constructed by the AI itself. One body (identified by contents on the body as Igear) was found, presumably eviscerated. In his own blood on the wall he wrote, "She promised there would be cake!!!! Delicious and Moist Cake!!!! Where is the CAKE???"

The team is continuing it's investigation and the AI has promised to allow them to stay as "It is obvious that there is much more science to do for the people who are still alive."


Emperor Palpatine's Moff Decree is Ratified by the Imperial Senate

With a three-fourth's majority the Emperor's reorganization of Sector Control has passed. The Emperor will now appoint Moffs to oversee all operations within each Sector of the Republic. The Moff will have military control over the Sector Fleet and will report to the Emperor's staff. The Moff will also have the power to disband and remove seditious government's within his sector in order to ensure peace.

Sate Pestage, Chancellor of the Senate, has praised the Emperor's move and ensures that while Moffs may not be democratically elected the citizens of the Empire will still have senatorial representation to deal with their grievances.

Mon Mothma, the Senator from Chandrila, led the Coalition opposing ratification. They feel the move consolidates far too much military and political power into the hands of a few appointed beings. They also stated that the Moffs should be accountable to the Senate as well as the Emperor.

Sate Pestage responds: "The Emperor has proven himself trustworthy to the people of the Republic and this power will not be abused. We feel this new organization will prevent catastrophes such as the Trade Federation invasion of Naboo where the Senate is not able to move as quickly as a single individual."

Cult of Dooku on the Rise

Fanatical followers of the Separatist leader Count Dooku insist that he is not dead and that he will reveal himself when his political ideas take seed again. The Cult has made Dooku into a hero of epic proportions, a Sith Lord with the interests of the galaxy as a whole in his heart.

We spoke with Del Montaron, a cult expert: "These ideas are ridiculous. The Empire has provided proof that Dooku was a Jedi who conspired with the Order to create a war and give the Jedi unprecedented military power. These religious nuts are always seeking out some figure they can idolize who is of course conveniently absent for scrutiny."

Imperial Intelligence now believes the cult responsible for several terrorist acts including the theft of half a million credits on Bespin last year, the murder of an Imperial Officer, and an attack on an unarmed passenger liner that was narrowly repulsed by a squadron of elite pilots from the Star Destroyer Assiduous. Anyone with information on this group's activities should contact their local Imperial representative immediately.


The Concert of the Winds will take place this month on Vortex. Based around an intricate musical structure/instrument called the Cathedral of the Wind, the Cathedral is opened once a year at the changing of the seasons to allow the winds to blow through it. This creates an amazing sequence of musical sounds that is has so far been impossible to reproduce with any other instument.

The native Vors have insisted that the concert will not take place this year unless the Emperor curbs his excesses but this is believed to be a publicity stunt and thousands have already booked tickets to Vortex. For more information on attendance.........


Spot Inspection of Zel Sonn Station finds bodies

With the temporary shutdown of one of the station's reactors, a crew went into the reactor shaft for a safety inspection. The group found at least 4 bodies caught on part of a grill that did not completely retract. It is possible that more were not caught and were incinerated. Unfortunately identification of the bodies is impossible at this point so investigators are unsure if this was murder, suicide, or a series of accidents.

A concerned parents organization has founded itself called MAHIG (Mothers Against Holes In the Ground) and are insisting that railings and other safety features be installed around reactor shafts before their children fall in. The administrator of the facility pointed out that all the reactor shafts are all in restricted areas and that any parent who lets their children play there is an idiot.


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Issue 3 PDF Print E-mail
HoloNet News
Sunday, 16 August 2009 19:42

Holonet Galactic News HGN

(Between Episodes IV and V)

Headline News:

Jawa Juice Determined to be Unsafe for Consumption

The Galactic Consumer Advocacy organization has determined that Jawa Juice has been found to reduce the cognitive abilities of sentient beings far in excess to what was originally thought. Studies show that they may in fact have a greater effect then death sticks and some forms of spice.

When asked why this problem wasn't detected earlier, industry officials point out that no one knows exactly what Jawa Juice is except for the Jawa vendors themselves leading to unsettling rumors as to it's origins.

When asked for examples of what kind of damage it can do one industry official stated on condition of anonymity:

"Suppose you had a young male protege sworn to celibacy. You know that he is mindlessly in love with a girl. Instead of having her sent away safely like you normally would ingestion of Jawa Juice might lead you to do something stupid like send them to a romantic setting alone together where they can talk about sand, stare into each others eyes, etc. It is my considered opinion that the stuff should be banned."

Kashyyyk occupied by the Imperial Army

A fleet of Imperial warships blockaded the planet Kashyyyk this week and placed the planet under Imperial control. Imperial life forms specialists have determined that the indigenous creatures, the Wookies, are incurably animalistic and dangerous. They have also concluded that due to this and their underdeveloped brains that these creatures are not truly sentient.

In view of these facts, the Empire has opened the market up to sell them as beasts of labor. Several Trandoshan clans have already begun harvesting under Imperial regulations and the first Wookies are reaching the open market. Several Wookies are also being kept by the Empire for civic improvement projects to benefit the Empire as a whole.

Tensions heat up on Zel Sonn Station

Last week, the station administrator acceded to MAHIG's requests for a spot inspection of the reactor shafts to test the new railings and unleashed a firestorm of controversy.

In addition to more humanoid bodies, the inspectors found the remains of some kind of predatory cat. MAHIG promptly renamed itself MAHIGAPA(Mothers Against Holes In the Ground and Angry Predatory Animals). They searched the entire station and found the body of a Reek in an abandoned hanger and the body of an Acklay within an escape pod bay. Concerned that this is just the tip of the iceberg, the administrator has been flooded with demands that for the safety of the children a patrol force be created to hunt down any additional predatory animals and also demanding that the rails be tripled in height and made unclimbable.

The Administrator formed the BEAR (Balanced Equipped Animal Response) patrol and they have begun scouring the station for additional animals. There have also been reports of hucksters trying to sell animal protection devices including talismans that ward off predatory cats and food pellets that can be used to distract angry carnivorous platypuses.


Dramatic Trick gives Jace Deeron Victory in Loop of Kon Garat Race

Jace Deeron has won the Loop of Kon Garat, one of the most challenging space races in the galaxy. Jace successfully avoided the Space Slug gauntlet and the Spinning Ion Platforms of Death with his brilliant idea of spinning his craft.

When asked where he picked up such a trick Jace said, "When I was young I flew a starfighter in the defense of Naboo. Mostly a cakewalk job until the Trade Federation blockade. I flew into orbit to attack a Droid Control Ship. It didn't go well as we couldn't break their shields. As I was desperately trying to survive I heard a voice I didn't recognize over the comlink. It said, 'Let's spin, that's a good trick.' Figuring I had nothing to lose, I did just that. We won the battle and I've been spinning ever since."

Mitrinomon Issues a Recall of the Z-6 Jetpack

Safety Inspectors discovered a flaw in the Z-6 jetpack and the company has issued a recall due to a design flaw. It has been determined that there is a 3 cm by 2 cm area on the back that can cause a misfire of the jetpack if jolted suddenly.

Company spokesmen say, "The flaw is minor. It would require a blunt or pointed object to impact the area with a great deal of force and even then all it will do is cause a momentary firing of the pack followed by a short cool-down period. The risks are minimal. The affected area is also incredibly small. A blind man waving a stick around wildly has about as much chance to hit it as a trained combatant.

This is the second major jet pack safety warning issued in the last 5 years. Merr-Sonn was forced to put a warning label on the JT-12 pointing out that the jet pack may lose functionality if the wearer is trampled by a large animal.


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Zel Sonn Station recruiting Big Game Hunters to join the BEAR patrol. Experience putting down large animals a plus. Bonuses for each animal brought in. Free ammo!!!!!!
Issue 4 PDF Print E-mail
HoloNet News
Sunday, 16 August 2009 19:46

Holonet Galactic News HGN

(Between Episodes VI and VII)

Headline News:

Jedi Terrorists Attack on Coruscant

A group of anarchists struck on Imperial Center attacking and destroying Imeici Spire, a new COMPNOR construction project. We spoke to Durool Sedwyn, a member of COMPNOR's Select committee:

HGN: What was the intended purpose of the building?

DS: It was to serve as a central installation for several branches of COMPNOR activities. While the ISB and Compforce had a few stations on floors within the building the majority of the building was dedicated to our SubAdult Group and the Coalition for Progress. One new program that was to be based there was to provide free infant formula for mothers willing to enroll their children later in our SAGroup. It also contained some of our finest Art, Science, and Commerce division representatives, many of whom died in the explosion.

HGN: Is there any information on how the terrorists were able to access the building?

DS: Security was not intense on the building site as there were no real targets. It is not a military installation nor were there any critical military, intelligence, or political personnel on the site. This was a cowardly attack on a civilian target.

HGN: What does this mean for the future of COMPNOR?

DS: We will have to temporarily disperse our operations. We are also asking the Emperor to grant the ISB additional powers to prevent an atrocity like this from ever happening again.

HGN: What about the perpetrators of the attack?

DS: We have visual ID's on all of them. We are not releasing them to the public but all military personnel and customs officials have their names and images on file. We will prevent them from getting off-planet and we're tightening the net on them as we speak.

HGN: Thank you for your time.

Security Increased in the Deep Core

The Deep Core of the Galaxy is navigationally dangerous and few travel there recreationally. Reports of strange planets and monsters keep turning up. Now the Emperor with the approval of the Senate has implemented a new security plan that will guard the Deep Core from seditious elements. Stating that several planets have been used as bases by pirates and rebel elements the Deep Core has been declared restricted.

There will be an increased military presence at all checkpoints and passage into the area will require special permissions from the Imperial Navy. All ship captains and shipping organizations with legitimate business in the area are advised to contact their suppliers and/or buyers in the area for them to request a license to enter the area. Through background checks will be required for all captains and crew passing into the area.

Hull Breach on Zel Sonn Station

The Balanced Equpped Animal Response (BEAR) patrol on Zel Sonn Station suffered a catastrophe when the patrol sighted what they believed to be a carnivorous animal. They cornered it on the observation deck and opened fire with pistols, rifles, light repeaters, and two missile launchers. This resulted in the death of the suspected creature but also a breach in the transparisteel resulting in the entire patrol and 12 others dying from vacuum exposure.

Recovery of the debris indicates that the carnivorous creature in question was a Quarren trader and that the BEAR patrol had a BAC level well in excess of the legal limit to operate a firearm, operate a moving vehicle, or even discern basic shapes.

With repairs still underway on getting power fully restored the Station administrator is believed to be about to place the Station under martial law and cries to disband the BEAR patrol are being met with cries that the BEAR patrol is now more necessary then ever and the BEAR patrol has continued it's massive recruiting drive.

Conspiracy Theorist Taken into Custody for his own Safety

Maloor Numb, a Sullustan known for his wacky take on history was taken into custody by Mental Health personnel for his own protection. He is known for several of his crackpot publications, most notable of which are his insistence on believing that the Jedi Civil War involved the use of a titanic ancient space station fueled by the Dark Side and that in the aftermath of that war the Jedi were largely purged by a man who was cut into pieces and another who could supposedly eat the lifeforce of whole planets.

While largely dismissed as a kook, his latest book has prompted a lot of controversy, connected as it is with the more immediate past. His book insists that the Naboo blockade ten years before the Clone War was orchestrated by Senator Palpatine to build up popular support for him and that he is the one who crippled Chancellor Valorum's ability to lead in order to prompt his removal and replacement by himself.

He weaves together a web of conspiracies involving a red-faced assassin supporting the Trade Federation and suggests he is tied to Palpatine. Then he claims that Dooku and Palpatine conspired together to create the Clone War in order to justify the creation of a large-scale military and weaken the Jedi. He then uses other information to attempt to concoct the ridiculous notion that the Jedi were not responsible for the assault on the Chancellor but that the Jedi discovered the Chancellor's 'plot' with Dooku and moved to arrest him and the Chancellor then moved to eliminate the Jedi as a threat to his rule. This is ended with him conjuring up the old religion of the Sith and insisting that the Emperor is some kind of sorceror of dark magics.

He said in his last press conference before being arrested:

"It's obvious if you put the pieces together. Why was there a request to repair the Chancellor's office right after the assassination plot? He obviously used Force Magics to throw someone out the window. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!"

We hope that he receives the help he needs and can recover from his delusions.


Senator Organa has been deep in private meetings with fellow Senators and political leaders. Some speculate he is planning to introduce new legislation as nothing of critical importance is expected to come up for some time now.


New TIE Fighter game released

Now you can fly the Empire's trademark starfighter in a campaign to protect the galaxy from pirates and rebels. Includes an immersive storyline and 7 military campaigns.

Free Gizka

Does anyone want any Gizka? All you have to do is show up and take them. There's nothing else needed. Please take some. Take all of them. In the name of all that's HOLY please help me get rid of these little cretinous pieces of......I mean, nice household pets. Wonderful for children.

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